“What are you saying?”  Air Marshall Stanley Greene of the RAF asked.

“What I’m saying is that we’ve got an hour to get ready.  There’s a UFO on its way here right now.”

“But that’s not enough time.”  Brigadier General Amanda Sing complained.  “It’d take half a day just to get the TA called up to help support the civilian police force.”

“Well if you start now you’ll get them all prettied up and ready to go on display.  Hopefully this will be a friendly first contact situation.  We have to let them make the first move, good or bad.”  The Doctor paused for a moment.  “That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be prepared.  As my old friend Bayden Powell once said: speak softly and get ready to pull their hair and knee them between the legs if necessary.  Ok, I added the last part, but essentially it’s fair advice.  You never know when the next UFO’s got something nasty inside of it.”

The UFO appeared over Hyde Park and landed near speaker’s corner, causing the speaker, one Eliza Littledo to stare open-mouthed at the ship from another world.  Minutes later she was still gawping slack-jawed when the United Nations Intelligence Taskforce mobilised and began evacuating the immediate vicinity.

The hatch of the UFO opened and a tall, imposing man emerged, followed a few moments later by a thin, upset-looking, woman with fluffy rabbit slippers on her feet.  “I am Grundaldran.”  Grundaldran stated loudly.  “I come in peace, but be warned I will not allow my technology to fall into hostile hands.  Behold my robot guardian, Alice.”

The Doctor looked at the humanoid robot.  “She seems oddly familiar.  I think she’s one of Kamelion’s sisters.”

“Can we go now?”  Alice asked Grundaldran.  “I want to watch my cartoons.”

“Not yet.”  Grundaldran replied.  “We have to secretly conquer the Earth first.”

“Conquer the Earth?”  The Doctor said out loud.  “Oh you poor deluded creature.  I am Earth’s saviour.”

Grundaldran scoffed.  “You?  You look like a reject from the Fame Academy.”

“Hold me back, Mickey.”  The Doctor said to her companion.

“I ain’t getting’ involved.”  Mickey said sharply.

“You’re already involved.”  The Doctor replied.  “You’re my best friend and I need you.”

“Yeah?”

“I want to watch cartoons!”  Alice threw a tantrum.

“I can show you all the cartoons you want.”  The Doctor said quickly.

“You can?”  Alice asked and pushed Grundaldran off of the top of the UFO so she could talk to the pretty woman about the quality of the cartoons on offer.

The Doctor put her arm around the robot’s shoulder.  “Tell me Alice, have you ever heard of the Wombles?”

“No.”  Alice replied.  “Are they nice?”

“Some of them are.”  The Doctor replied.  “I’ve also got Bagpuss on DVD too.”

“I’ve got all the Batman cartoons.”  Mickey admitted.  “What?”  He asked when the others looked at him, one pitying him like a fool and the other admiring him like a messiah.

“Why don’t I show you your room in the TARDIS, Alice?”  The Doctor asked.  “I think we’ll need to make ourselves pretty scarce, the military always love a good interrogation and I’m in no mood for a debriefing.  Certainly not before dinner and flowers anyway and I just said that out loud.”

“She’s weird.”  Mickey said to Alice.

Alice nodded.  “All non-robots are weird.”  She hugged her two new best friends.

“I think you just broke a rib.”  Mickey managed to say through the pain.

Grundaldran was surrounded by humans with guns and red berets.  “Oh frak!”