"Earth is our Eden." The Dalek
Emperor announced to his worshippers. "We shall make it our Eden and live in paradise."
"We can build sandcastles."
A Dalek said happily.
"We can go to the
fun fairs." Another Daleks said to a third.
A fourth Dalek looked
at the exterminated bodies of the Doctor and Rose. "We can display our trophies. We have beaten our most dangerous enemy."
The Dalek Emperor
laughed. "No my children. It is Christmas time. We shall have a Christmas party to celebrate our victory."
"With jelly and
ice cream?" The first Dalek asked.
"Of course!" The
Dalek Emperor replied.
Painfully the Doctor
opened one eye. "What a night. I must have had three alcopops judging by this headache." The Doctor sat up. "Strange, something
feels different. Hmmm, new breasts. And hair. I've got hair. Long and red." There was a mirror. "I'm Geri Halliwell!"
The Daleks took
a shuttle down to Earth and sang Christmas Carols on the way down.
The Doctor was forced
to dress in Rose's clothes as she had nothing else to wear and Rose wouldn't need them anymore as she was dead, consumed by
the fires of eternity and also about a hundred Dalek extermination blasts. She said a silent prayer for her fallen companion
and incinerated her in the Gamestation's nuclear reactor pile.
"Who are you?" Jack
Harkness demanded. "What have you done to Rose Tyler?"
"Jack?" The Doctor
gasped. "You're alive!"
"Yeah." Jack replied.
"Rose gave me new life, somehow."
"Giving you a new
life must have drained her just enough for the Daleks to overwhelm her. It's all a blank. So what do you think?"
"Well I wouldn't
kick you out of bed, but right now I may just shoot you dead."
The Doctor giggled. "I'm the Doctor."
replied. "So what now?"
"We take the TARDIS
down to Earth and destroy the Daleks once and for all."
"I like that plan."
Jack replied and put his arm around the Doctor's waist.
"Later." The Doctor
said quickly. "Can't you think of anything else?"
"With your dazzling
beauty there's only one thing I can think of."
death, I hope." The Doctor replied.
"Sure." Jack replied.
"We could take the scenic route though.
The Doctor pushed
Jack in the TARDIS. "They say redheads have fiery passions. Maybe I should show you mine."
"Only if you let
me show you mine first." Jack replied and pulled the Doctor inside the TARDIS.
The Daleks were
doing the conga when the TARDIS materialized nearby. Jack stumbled out of the TARDIS with a black eye and the Doctor followed
a few seconds later, holding her hand in pain. "Never do that again!" She shouted.
"Gee Doctor; you
give me all the signals."
"I was talking about,
never mind that now." The Doctor looked at the Daleks. "Right then you lot. There's only one way to defeat you and with this
body I finally have the means at my disposal. I'm going to get rid of you lot once and for all..."
"You're not going
to strip are you?" Jack asked.
"Hardly." The Doctor
replied. "I'm going to use the ancient power of the Time Ladies to summon forth the greatest all-star pop band in the world
and use our combined Grrrl-Power to destroy the Daleks."
From the planet
Peladon Queen Poshia appeared. From the planet Drahva First Minister Scaary appeared. From the forest
of Cheam Sporti appeared and from Rexacoricofalipetorious Baby Margaret appeared.
Jack cowered in
fear. "No, this is more destructive than the Delta Ray!"
"Get in the TARDIS
then." The Doctor replied. "This is one gig that's for Daleks only."
The 'Space Girls'
began to sing and the Daleks writhed about in agony and mercifully one by one they all exploded...
Jack emerged from
the TARDIS to find the Doctor and co were enjoying a hug and making plans for a reunion tour next decade. He quickly set about
trying to program in the co-ordinates for the Torchwood Institute, but he was too slow.
"What are you doing
Jack?" She asked the suspicious Jack.
"I'm just setting
"Why don't you let
me take care of that for you? We don't want you worrying your pretty little head with things like that, now do we?" She advanced
"It's ok Doctor.
I've got the hang of these controls now."
"Don't touch the
controls Jack. You don't know what you're doing."
"I know exactly
what I'm doing." Jack replied but the Doctor was standing in front of him and she threw her arms around him and then she kissed
him. "Why?" He asked.
under the mistletoe." The Doctor replied. "Now why don't we go back to Earth? You can break the news to Jackie after you've
slept with her and I can have Mickey all to myself. I loved him from the moment I saw him and finally he's mine for the taking."
Jack was shocked. "Really?"
The Doctor nodded.
"He's the perfect companion for me. He's always asking me for answers, he always gets into trouble and he’s always the
first to scream for help. I love that in a man." The Doctor set the controls for Earth. "Now though I think it's time to find
a new outfit. 2000's Chav is so old. I know, what about 1800's alehouse trollop? No? 1970's feminist? Too Sarah Jane? I know!
I have the perfect dress. Victoria wore it once. It's lacy and flouncy and the
matching shoes are only a modest 3" heel. Either that or Leela's spare dress she left after she married Andred.