The Spice Doctor

The Disco Age

Season One
Season Two
Season Three

life on the dance floor...

The TARDIS landed in an alley next to Maximum’s.  It was the hottest new place in town.  The only place in town to be honest.  Everyone who was anyone was queuing up outside to get in, but in a small place like this fifty people was a world record.  No one noticed the two new arrivals as the stood near the battered old chip van.  The aroma of badly cooked chips wafted down the street on a lazy air current towards the entrance, at a speed not much faster than the queue itself.


The Doctor and Mickey wondered how long they had to wait but all too soon they were at the front, getting the one over by the bouncers to see if they looked like trouble.  They were ushered inside with scant indifference.  The Doctor felt cheated that her new dress didn’t even get her an unwanted second look.  She checked her coat and headed inside to where the music was playing at an acceptable noise level.  She’d have to persuade them to turn the music up at some point.  There really was no point having a disco in her opinion if it wasn’t going to play loud music.


“Do you want anything to drink?”  Mickey asked the Doctor.  “I’m heading to the bar.”


“Mineral water.”  The Doctor replied.  “For both of us.  We need a clear head.”


“Fine.”  Mickey scowled.  “We can have lager later on though, yeah?”


“Maybe.”  The Doctor smiled and headed to the dance floor.




Patsy and Clyde were watching the weird woman who looked far too old to be at a disco.  She was wearing a dress that was far too young for her too and those shoes were the most outrageous things they’d ever seen they were like platform shoes but with even bigger heels adding at least 4 inches to her height.  They both wondered how anyone could walk in those, never mind dance in them.




Mickey stood next to the bar waiting to be served.  He looked at all the drinks on sale and there wasn’t even cider available, never mind lager!  He hoped this wasn’t one of those raves where they only sold soft drinks because everyone was off their heads on drugs.  Not that he had anything against people who used drugs, at least the safe ones, but how could you have a conversation with anyone off their face on E or acid?  You might as well have a conversation about the TARDIS with the Doctor; it’s making about as much sense.  In the end he bought two mineral waters and looked for the Doctor, only to see her dancing like a loony around her handbag on the dance floor.




Patsy saw the cute black guy who was with the old slapper.  He was hot and gorgeous with a brilliantly sexy bum.  She was considering dumping Clyde and getting herself some of that good stuff.  She reckoned she could steal him off the old cow in about five seconds, all he needed was to see her funky stuff and she’d be smoking a cigarette in bed next to him tonight and he’d be making her coffee in the morning.  He wasn’t a once only deal, no way; he was a three times a night sex machine and all she had to do was take him for her own.  However when she looked back he was gone, and so was the old tart.




The Doctor and Mickey made their way towards the manager’s office.  They were just in time as the thieves raiding the safe exited just in time to trip over the Doctor’s foot and land face first on the carefully placed old oak table.


“Tie his hands up.”  The Doctor pointed at the other prone thief as she set about restraining the nearest thief.  She securely tied his hands up in an award winning knot that would have won her the Gallifrey Girl Guides badge for knots if she was a thousand year younger.


Mickey tied up the thief’s hands.  He wasn’t as quick as the Doctor, but he also made sure that the guy’s ankles were tied too.  To make sure he didn’t go anywhere.  “Now what?”


“We rescue the manager of course.”  The Doctor went into the office to free the poor manager.


Patsy leapt on the hot, jumping into his arms and passionately snogging him for all her worth.  She imagined him proposing to her and their wedding day, and more importantly their wedding night.  “My hero.”  She said at last.


“Patsy, where are you?”  Clyde saw his girlfriend in the arms of another bloke.  “Oi, what’s your game then?  Trying to steal my bird then?”


“What?”  Mickey said.  He looked at Patsy.  “Are you two together?”


“Don’t play dumb with me.”  Clyde said and smashed his smuggled bottle of lager on the wall.  “I’m going to cut your pretty face up real good.”


The Doctor grabbed the thug’s wrist.  “I suggest you pick on someone your own size.”  She used Venusian aikido to throw the youth across the room.  “Come along Mickey, our work here is done.”  She looked at the simpering teenage girl and her smile turned into the sort of glare normally reserved for the Daleks.  “He’s mine.”




Mickey heard and then saw sirens as they emerged outside.  “I don’t half fancy a bag of chips.”


The Doctor nodded.  “Go ahead.  I’ll wait for you.”


“Nah.”  Mickey shrugged.  “Proper ones.  Like the ones we had in Manchester that time.”


“Ah.”  The Doctor remembered.  “I put on a whole pound the next day.  I’ll just have a few of yours.  That way the calories don’t count.”


“You’re terrible.”  Mickey laughed.  “Besides you must have burned up a thousand calories dancing, and you haven’t even started sweating yet.  I’m knackered and I only did two songs with you.”


The Doctor unlocked the TARDIS and ushered her companion inside.


Seconds later it vanished into the night and Patsy got the shock of her life as she’d intended to have words with the trollop who’d hurt her boyfriend.  Instead her whole world was turned upside down as she saw them get in the small blue box and it glowed brightly and faded away into nothing, only a swirling scratchy sound indicated that it was really real.  She didn’t notice two hours later when they put her into an ambulance.  She didn’t notice a month later when they put her in a loony bin.  She didn’t notice a year later when people stopped visiting.  She didn’t notice half a lifetime later when the ‘hospital’ closed down and they stuck her in a council flat and she slowly starved to death and her body wasn’t discovered until weeks later, when it was found half eaten by stray cats.


I really wanted to write a bit of a shock ending, to highlight the failure of the care in the community policy...

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