The TARDIS was its usual
chaotic mess, abandoned shoes and clothes and half eaten sandwiches were strewn around the console room and that was just
off the Doctor! Mickey's mess was too extreme to even catalogue, rather it was conveniently labelled The Mess, to avoid any
accidental insanity casual observers may succumb to trying to work out what it was.
The Doctor was busy
trying everything from voodoo to applying heavy make up to hide the horrendously huge spot on her cheek. She was well past
her teenage years, indeed she was more middle aged than she appeared, but not as much as she was prepared to admit to, not
even to herself. Instead she preferred to think of herself as being just on the right side of twenty and left it at that.
Ok so she was actual 1327, but who was counting? She told everyone she was 900 of course, even when she'd been a man she'd
lied about her age. Maybe she could say she was 850? She didn't think she'd get away with that though.
The summoning chamber
was empty of everything except long deep shadows that could hide all sorts of evil things and a mocking mad laugh that contained
nothing but insanity and dark joy. The macabre scene was filled by one figure, a human prepared to surrender their humanity
for mad power and evil domination. His frame bent with the pressure of demonic glee and his flesh warped into unnatural shapes
as raw energy transmuted him into other elements unknown to human science. The thing that was left crawled out of the room
on insectoid legs and a terrible reptile hunger.
A warm, mild night,
disrupted only by the displaced air molecules as a hole was torn in reality to make way for the arrival of a strange blue
box of mysterious dimensional angles and cyclopean architecture. Inside of it was a realm of infinite proportions, where nothing
made sense and everything was not what it appeared to be. Not even the pilot, for want of a better word, she alone knows what
most of the buttons do, but not all and one day she might find out what they do. Two people emerged from
the blue device known as TARDIS. One was wearing a scarlet dress and matching shoes and purse, the other was wearing combats
and a hoodie and looked like he had a grudge against the world.
"Where are we then?"
The man asked.
"I'm not exactly
sure myself. I think we're on Earth, maybe." The woman looked around. "Do you recognise any of this?"
"Great, just great.
If you don't know where we are, then how am I supposed to know?"
"It's your planet;
I'm just a weekend guest at best, although I do have a deep love of this world. My mother..." She was cut off however, when
a giant creature attacked her and her associate.
"What the hell is
it?"
"I've never seen
one before."
"You don't know
what's going to kill us?"
"Brave heart." The
woman reached into her purse and took out a sonic device. It emitted a shill blast of sound higher than any human could hear.
"Put your fingers in my ears!" The woman shouted to her colleague. "It's deafening me."
Elsewhere...
The doorway between
realities can be accessed at certain points by means of a key, the key however is also the gate and the gate is the gatekeeper
too. Travel is only permitted upon payment and the payment is always incalculably high, the price is never worth the paying,
but many try because they think that they are special and they will some how get away with it where others have failed. The
gatekeeper might tear the living flesh from a traveller's bones, or they might transport them to a world other than that intended
by the traveller. The gatekeeper might even absorb the traveller into itself, transforming their flesh into a new portal,
a terrible misshapen beast screaming for a death that will never come to its deathless existence. However some travellers
have devised a means of travel that renders them immune to the deadly winds of the empty eternity known only as the vortex.
Here small bubbles of calm serenity travel through it like air bubbles in a fizzy drink, although it must be said that occasionally
one of them will pop.
Eyes like candles
contained the full fury of a million seething suns.
The Doctor and Mickey
had wandered quite far, looking for the alleged shopping centre that promised bargains and regular cola for Mickey and mineral
water for the Doctor. However all they saw was a blasted heath land, where nothing grew and an empty hunger was carried on
the wind like the voices of angry gods at war with each other.
The thing with a
thousand knife-like teeth pounced, salivating eagerly at the thought of an easy meal.
Mickey screamed
as a nightmare monster leapt upon him, crushing him under unnatural weight and powerful limbs of no human size of shape.
The Doctor delved
deeply into her purse, looking for the right something to wield as a make-do weapon. Alas all she found was hair spray, but
coupled with her toy gun shaped lighter... She released a mini-fireball at the beast, scorching its naked flesh with searing
heat. "Stay calm, Mickey." She shouted as she tried to bury the heel of her shoe in the swollen red burn. "Try to get free
of it."
The monster screamed
as its soft innards flowed out of the hole in its tough leathery hide. It tried weakly to tear the throat out of its prey
but death claimed it too quickly and instead it collapsed in the twitching spasms of the freshly dead.
"Get it off me!"
Mickey began to cry, hot wet tears plastered his cheeks.
The Doctor helped
Mickey up to his feet. "You're ok now. We should get back to the TARDIS before something else attacks us. I don't know where
we are but it's not where we should be."
"Its miles away."
Mickey complained.
"It's either walk
to safety or wait to be lunch."
Mickey set off walking.
"I never thought it would be like this. I want to go home."
"I understand."
The Doctor took hold of Mickey's arm. "I've rarely seen a planet this inhospitable myself."
Mickey screamed
in agony as a giant snake with a human head bit into his chest. He tried beating it away with his fists, but it ensnared him
in loops of its body, to trap him while it took another bite.
The Doctor threw
her shoes at the brute trying to eat her boy...her companion. "Get off of him!" She shouted in a shrill voice that was only
a few moments away from hysteria. She pushed her fingernails into its eyes and it began to thrash about in maddening pain.
"Quick." The Doctor said as she got Mickey free. "Let’s make a run for it. I badly need to wash my hands." She wiped
them on his top.
The hunger out
of time and space cried out in futile gesture as its path of straight lines was cut off by the double blue doors that were
strong enough to hold back the whole of the universe. The teeth without a form gnashed and a throaty keening filled the air
as despair filled its senses.
The TARDIS seemed
quiet. Too quiet. A dread pervaded the air as soft footsteps approached. Mickey and the Doctor hid behind each other and the
TARDIS console as from inside it came, a terrible demon in a pink dress and with long blonde hair. "Did you miss me then?"
Alice asked the others.
Mickey fainted a
few microseconds before the Doctor caught him. "Typical." She said to herself.
Alice
picked up a pillow. "Did you miss me then?" She handed the pillow to the Doctor. "I see you both forgot how to tidy up."
"It's some sort
of untidiness virus." The Doctor said to her mechanical friend. "I accidentally caught it from an unwashed teacup."
"That would explain
why her underwear is hanging from the roof." Alice said to herself. "Honestly
I get abducted in time and space, have lots of thrilling adventures, two children, a husband and I come back to find you can't
even tidy up a bit?" The fembot picked up a large cardboard box. "I'll tidy up, while you stop Mickey mutating into a giant
scorpion creature." She took out her favourite mop, which she called Mrs. Moppy Moppalot, and began to
mop the gungy floor.
The Doctor saw that
Mickey had grown several more legs in the last minute. "Stop that at once. Did you always have that stinger?"
"Fooood!" Mickey
the mutant cried out. "Must feeeeed."
Alice
held back the giant claws while the Doctor tried to force-feed Mickey his medicine. "How long until we know it works?" She
asked.
"Not long, I hope."
The Doctor replied. "A few moments, maybe half an hour."
"Just enough tome
to show you my photo albums then." Alice picked up the other cardboard box, the
one with the 28 albums. "Some are in barcode format."
"Shame." The Doctor
smiled. "This one's drawn with crayons."
"Yes, some I made
myself, before I got the camera."
"You certainly liked
to use a lot of different colours."
"Well I like them
all."
"I can tell. Is
this a planet or a sandwich?"
"That was the giant
sandwich planet. We got drive through."
Mickey convulsed
in pain as his human form reasserted itself...
Mickey opened his
eyes to see the room was tidy, very tidy. "What happened? Why does my head hurt so much?"
"It was a dream."
The Doctor replied. "Just a bad dream."
"Something bit me."
Mickey looked at his chest but there was no teeth marks, no blood. "What happened to my clothes? These aren't the ones I was
wearing."
"Are you sure?"
The Doctor tried to repress a grin.
"I think so." Mickey
replied and sat up. "Did we have a few bevies?"
"We had a pizza
and I let you have two cans of lager. You started singing a very unusual song about my..."
"Never mind that
now." Mickey wondered what had happened. He had gotten wasted, on just two cans? "So who tidied up?"
"Oh, I just did
a spot of spring cleaning. For the new year."
"What new year?"
"It's 2006." The
Doctor replied.
"We're on earth?"
The Doctor opened
the TARDIS doors. "Venice, midnight,
2006."
"Happy new year."
Mickey said.
"I hope so." The
Doctor kissed Mickey. "For luck."
Mickey paused for
a second. "Ok." he paused again. "So what now?"
"You could kiss
me." The Doctor suggested. "It is the new year."
"I'd rather play
on my play station." Mickey replied.
The Doctor rolled
her eyes. "This is the most romantic city in the world. Can't you be at least a little swept off your feet?"
Mickey took hold
of the Doctor and swept her off her feet, kissing her in a grand fiery cinematic fashion.
The Doctor didn't
need to say anything as she enjoyed the passionate embrace.
Mickey woke up from
the nightmare. He was strapped down to a stretcher and he was being wheeled through a hospital. He heard the Doctor's voice
and he felt a pulsing, hot sticky warmth in his side, where that thing had bit him.
"Please don't die."
The Doctor repeated again and again...
Outside of time
and space the thing with no eyes spat out the flesh of Mickey Smith, adding it to the wall of flesh that catalogued all the
tastiest morsels inside the realm of existence known as the Universe. It laughed insanely as its tube body sprouted crab claws
and its face became that of an eagle. It squawked loudly and then plunged its beak into the dread portal of eternity and swam
away on the currents of timelessness.