Alice tried coaxing
the last bits of jam out of the jar. "Come on out, please, I need you to lie on this nice piece of hot buttered toast for
the Doctor. I'm making him breakfast and you're holding things up. If you don't hurry up then I'll have to get the spoon."
sat on the bench with an empty jam jam in her wheels. "11100011011?" The small car-shaped baby robot asked.
"If we eat
up all our jam and save up all the jars then we can get a free Junior Girl Scout activity backpack." Alice
was very keen on owning a backpack as she felt she could keep things in it, like toys and Molly and also more jars of jam.
wandered in and stubbed his toe on the wheelbarrow full of jam sandwiches. "What the heck is going on here?"
you some sandwiches to eat." Alice explained. "I hope you're feeling extra hungry
today. I know how your organic being like your food."
"I'll die if I try to eat all that." Mike tried to explain the concept
of moderation to his friend but she just burst into tears and accused him of not liking her enough.
asked and jumped into Mike's arms.
"Sure." Mike agreed to read the little robot a story, anything that got him away from
crazy jam girl was a good move right now.
Alice got the last bit of jam out
of the jar and went to take breakfast to the Doctor.
The Doctor was busy practicing playing the violin when Alice
dropped by for a chat. He quickly stopped playing when he saw the mountainous pile of food on the breakfast tray.
blown the whole months food on one meal Alice."
burst into fresh tears and lay down on the Doctor's couch. "It isn't easy, trying to be helpful. I try to help out around
the place but no-one appreciates my help."
"It's just that you tend not to understand what people want. Like last week,
when you tried to re-grout the tiles in the swimming pool."
"I did a great job." Alice
was proud of her home made Womble tiles.
"I was doing my daily laps when you started." The Doctor pointed out. "If it wasn't
for me, you'd have done the whole lot underwater."
"I don't breathe air." Alice
"But the tiles shouldn't have been allowed to get wet in the first place."
"I asked you if it was fine
and you agreed. You were fighting the slime monsters of Tarbin and I was trying to get their thoughts on my new dress and
you agreed to let me retile the swimming pool if I helped you stop that nice Cedric stop suffocating you with his ooze."
I recall he vomited phlem all over your dress."
"Yes, that wasn't a good day for new dresses. Mike spilled coffee all over
"In future you could just mention when you're going to redecotate other peoples rooms, apart from your own.
Although Molly has approached me about one of her own, apparently she doesn't like being dressed as a Womble, even if you
let her wear my old hat and scarf."
Alice looked at the handwritten barcode.
"I suppose she is old enough to learn about other TV shows."
The Doctor sighed. "I told her she should stay with you until
she's old enough to run away from home."
Alice smiled. "That's better, now
aren't you going to eat your toast? I spent three hours alone just buttering it.
The Doctor's eyebrow arched as the pile
of toast collaped in upon itself, before being expelled by the TARDIS's security system. "That's that taken care of. Now why
don't I escort you to the console room?"
Alice took hold of the Doctor's arm.
"Can we visit somewhere with a beach and friendly people?"
"I'll try, but if it's another gravel quarry can you not play
hide and seek by yourself again?"
Inside Cyber-Command things were going efficiently and smoothley. The conversion
chambers were running to capacity and soon there would be enough cybermen to launch an invasion of three key planetary systems
nearby. The Cyberleader was preparing to update the battle computers with the latest intelligence when the TARDIS materialised
nearby. "It is the Doctor." He stated impartially. "Capture him, alive."
Dozens of Cybermen raised their guns towards the
doorway. However a small blonde robot emerged and kissed the Cyberleader. "Wow, what a hunk. Are you married?"
of me." The Cyberleader protested.
"You can be Molly's new daddy." Alice was
in love with her new boyfriend. "Come on, I'll show you my Womble collection."
The Doctor was shocked when Alice
brought one of the Cybermen into the console room.
"Get that out of here, now."
"But we're in love." Alice
"It is the Doctor." The Cyberleader observed his arch nemesis. "We meet again."
"Not for long." The Doctor
replied. "Let go of him Alice, his kind have no emotions, he cannot love you."
can help him get in tough with his synthetic soul." Alice volunteered. "He can
"We do not allow such weaknesses."
"Not even when I remove your helmet. Wow, look at those circuits." Alice
was impressed by his wiring. "So do you want to go steady?"
"I will eliminate you all." The Cyberleader raised his gun
and prepared to fire...
The Cyberleader tried to fire, but the Doctor moved too quickly. Plus the female robot
was holding onto his arm and trying to kiss him. "Let go of me."
"Too slow." The Doctor said to the silver officer. "You've
run out of patience, get out of my TARDIS, now."
"I'll help you pack." Alice
picked up a suitcase and started filling it with jam sandwiches. "These will tide you over. Don't forget to write." She handed
him the suitcase and pushed him out the door. "Men!" She complained. "They always leave me in the end."
Mike strolled into
the console room. "Has anyone seen Molly? She was playing hide and seek with me. Last time I saw her she was pretending to
be a suitcase."
"A what?" Alice started to panic.
"A suitcase." The Doctor
"But we had a suitcase in here."
"I know." The Doctor replied.
"I gave it to Neil, my ex-boyfriend."
you did." The Doctor remembered. "What are you going to do about it."
opened the dorrs. "I'm going to get my baby back." She rushed outside...
Molly trundled into the console room. "10011101011?"
She asked Mike.
"Uh oh." Mike said.
"Oh dear." The Doctor agreed.
"10010?" Molly wanted her Mummy.
was having the time of her life as she drove herself around the command centre. "Isn't this fun?" She asked Neil, her passanger
and boyfriend once more.
"Fun? What is this fun you speak of?"
"Joy, happiness, contentment. Satisfaction about having
a good time." Alice skidded around the bewildered Cybermen and ended up next to
the cautious Cybermen analysing the jam sandwiches. She let Neil regain his footing, while she showed the curious silver guys
how to eat an sandwich.
A cyberman too one bite of the sanwich and exploded.
"That's never happened before." Alice
"You have betrayed us." The Cyberleader said to the mentally defective robot.
"You must be allegic to strawberry
jam." Alice sighed. "It's just like the time that cash machine ate a custard and
banana sandwich and spat all those colourful pieces of paper at me." Alice hugged
Neil. "It's ok, we can work past your allergies, what about raspberry jam?"
The Doctor and Mike found chaos when
they emerged from the TARDIS. Many of the Cybermen had fled and the remaining few were in pieces. In the centre say Alice,
trying to weld the Cyberleader back together again.
"What happened?" The Doctor asked.
"I made them a special pudding,
dreamy chocolate with gold dust sprinkles on the top. They just exploded and the others ran away."
"Cybermen are allergic
to Gold." The Doctor explained.
Mike picked up one of the heads. "We can hollow this out and put flowers in it."
be insensitive." The Doctor said to Mike.
"It's ok." Alice replied. "I had
that idea already." She pointed across the room to the row of Cyberplantpots. "I don't think Neil's fixable."
The Doctor comforted Alice. "Let him rust in piece."
started to cry into her cardigan sleeve. The Doctor and Mike escorted her back inside the TARDIS, so they could leave the
planet. "I'll miss him." She said to Mike. "He had the kind of shine that can really turn a girl's head."
"I'll just be
a minute." The Doctor popped back out of the TARDIS and returned with a single sandwich. He handed it to Alice.
"You can remember him with this."
Alice smiled and ate the sandwich. "Mmmm
mmm mm mmmmmmm."
The Doctor dematerialised the TARDIS and moments later the Cybercontrol exploded in a small thermo-nuclear
Alice sat Molly on her knee and sang the sleeping song
to her. "Go to sleep little robot, dream of sweets and circuits. Time to snooze now, cuddle your toys and close your eyes."
Once Molly was asleep Alice left the room and went in search of the music room,
so she could play some blues music and possibly a few run throughs of the Wombles theme tune too.